Through the lens of a photographer and her written adventures
All good things are wild and free. ~Henry David Thoreau
Bio:
Amanda Lee Calderon (aka A Fox in the Wild)
is a photographer, writer, filmmaker and blogger from Alton, Texas located in the deeper part of south Texas, near the border. Her photography and poetry have been featured in journals and magazines such as Encore Magazine, The Paper, Speechless in the RGV Magazine, Mirrors An Anthology, The Chachalaca Review, House of Horrors, and Otherwise Engaged Volume 3. Amanda has written over 10+ screenplays and enjoys shooting short films during her free time.
One of the things that I enjoy the most is photography and writing. I love to write about my travels although, I seldom do travel. But when I do, I always write poems and descriptions of my surroundings. I look to nature for my main inspiration. I have always felt connected to the wild. In deep south Texas there is a plethora of wildlife and insects, butterflies, as well as many species of birds that attract bird enthusiasts from across the world. I created this blog to write down my thoughts and feelings about my adventures in life. I want to share with you the amazing things I see through my lens. I hope you enjoy my journey.
they come out when the silver moon is high above and have meetings,
So, go to bed early and count your candy tomorrow,
for the beast may come to get you and bring upon you great sorrow
The Scary Clown Statue
Urban Legend
A teen female was babysitting for a wealthy family with a very large house, location – Newport Beach, California.
The parents planned on dinner out and a late movie. Wanting to ease the babysitter’s concerns about being in such a large house, the father directs that the babysitter use a certain tv room after putting the kids to bed, so she can hear the kids easily should they awaken before the parents’ return. After the parents leave, the babysitter visits with the children, and they all share a nice supper that was prepared ahead of time by the kids’ mother. Afterward, the babysitter spends time with the kids doing various activities before their bedtime. Nothing is amiss and all are having a pretty good time and enjoying each other.
After the babysitter puts the kids to bed, she goes downstairs to the room mentioned by the father of the household. She understands that this is the best room to be in so that she can hear the children should they stir in their sleep and need her to come and comfort them, but she is bothered by the clown statue in the corner of the room. To her, it is very unnerving! She tries to ignore the clown statue and watches a little television, but finally, her nerves get the better of her and she dials the father’s cell number. She knows she shouldn’t disturb the couple she is babysitting for, but under the circumstance, she felt it best to phone and ask permission to go against the prior directions to stay in the father’s room of choice. Perhaps he would be able to suggest a similarly convenient place in the home for listening for noise from the children. Of course, she also wouldn’t want to get in trouble for directly disobeying, either.
When the father answers his cell phone, the babysitter asks, “Would it be alright with you if I find a different place in the house to sit – or if I go read quietly with the little lamp in one of the kids’ rooms while I wait for you to get home?” When the father asks if it might not be better for her to just read from the tv room, she admits, “I know this sounds very silly, but I’d rather read upstairs and don’t mind not watching tv until you get home because this big clown statue in the TV room is really creepy!”
Immediately, the father says, “Go upstairs, get the kids – quickly – ” and he outlines a quick route through the large house to the back door. “Go directly to the neighbor’s house – phone me once you’re there – go do this now!” Alarmed, the babysitter asks, “Wow, what’s going on?” The father just repeats, “Go now, follow my instructions exactly – go!” The babysitter does exactly as instructed, and once she gets the kids to the neighbor’s house, she calls the father back. “What was all that about” the babysitter asked. “We do not own any kind of clown statue!” the father replied. “I have already phoned the police and they are on their way over to the house…you stay put with the kids – we are on our way to meet you at the neighbors.”
“We like companionship, see, but we can’t stand to be around people for very long. So we go get ourselves lost, come back for a while, then get the hell out again.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
Hello Wild Ones,
Today seemed especially difficult, as I found myself thinking about Christopher Johnson McCandless. How alone he must have felt during his last moments alive. For those of you who do not know the story of McCandless he was what I like to call an adventerous free-spirited soul who would stop at nothing to become one with nature.
In early 1992, a young man went in search of an adventure and left everything behind. Material possessions were minuscule. Even though Christopher’s family were well off financially, he had no interest in any of it. What did matter to him was to search for a deeper meaning to life. And so, he set out into the wild of the United States of America, traveling to Arizona, California, and South Dakota. He even got himself in a bit of a bind when he found himself canoeing from Colorado and into Mexico. Paddling throughout and only surviving off rice and any catch of marine life. Christopher always found a way to look for an adventure; one of his very own. Soon enough he found himself across the Pacific Ocean and on the Stampede Trail in Alaska. His goal was to survive off the land any which way he could. Although, McCandless found himself trapped when weeks later the river to cross back into town had quickly rose and was therefore uncrossable. Unfortunetly, it is theorized that his life was cut short when he accidentally foraged some poisonous berries or seeds in which he consumed and later died. Although others speculate it was from starvation.
The book became an instant national bestseller during the 1990s and has since then been translated into 30 languages. This is the type of book that I wish would have been a requirment to read in high school in my English class. I know I would have felt an immediate connection to it. This book didn’t fall into my hands until 2013. I had heard reviews about the film adaptation but never saw it until I read the book. There is a reason why I look up and admire the stories that where told about him in this book. He was a young brave soul who captured the hearts of many wilderness enthusiasts and hikers across the world. His adventure is one that should not be forgotten even after all these years.
In the book there are snippets of letters and postcards written personally by Christopher sent to his many friends he met along the way. Throughtout the story there are times where it is written in perspective of McCandless as well as the perspective of the author Jon Krakauer.
I believe we can all learn something from Christopher McCandless. It is that his spirit as bright as it burns with the calling of the wild, his fate was sealed when he ventured off. Maybe he belonged there all along. Out in the free world, within the trees and trails where no one but himself could understand it’s very desirable calling. To be one with your surroundings especially in the great outdoors, is the greatest feeling of all, and I can understand that. I believe Alexander Supertramp, which is what he liked to call himself, found his soul and himself and everything that he was searching for in life. His memory will forever be embedded into my mind. He may be gone but never forgotten. Supertramp who was only 24 years old when he died became a trailblazer for adventure junkies and is highly reference upon and talked about on the trails to this very day. As the wise words of Alexander Supertramp resonate with me today I can picture him and hear an echo of his voice within the woods saying
“If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.”
A stormy sunset breaking the drought in South Texas
August 2019
“I think we are bound to, and by, nature. We may want to deny this connection and try to believe we control the external world, but every time there’s a snowstorm or drought, we know our fate is tied to the world around us.”
-Alice Hoffman
Hello Wild Ones,
Beauty lies all around us if we just take a moment to look. We might just find what we are searching for. As for me, I look up to the sky for beauty. It represents hope and understanding; to be able to fly high in the honey sky. Hoping and praying for a better way to live this life and make it somewhat bearable.
Everyone has dreams, as do I. I dream of better health and longer years for my mother. I dream of writing books. I even dream of creamy milkshakes. But most of all, I dream of a life worth living. At this point in my journey I feel that my dreams are somewhat clouded and jaded. I can not seem to find my way, wherever that may be. I always start to believe and feel that I am heading in the right direction and then suddenly all that changes and I’m in the middle of a family fued (or whatever it is that is happening at that moment in time). How I was the cause of it is unbeknowst to me. A perfect way to describe it would be as if I am swimming along perfectly, the waves are smooth, the tide is light, and then all of a sudden a huge foamy wave comes crashing down on me. I am crushed beneath the surf and swept off to sea. I guess life is like that sometimes. Getting to understand yourself and guide your own life is pretty tough. But I have hope that one day I will get it right. As for now, just lost at sea.
KODAK Digital Still Camera
I love to take photographs of the sky as a reminder that tomorrow is not promised. As beautiful as it is and as lovely to see, life doesn’t hand us all this beauty. Nature doesn’t promise us blue skies. We go along each day hoping that it won’t be our last. Well, that’s my way of thinking anyway. I try to gain perspective whenever I look up and photograph these images. Soon the clouds will change and give me a different picture.
The sky brings me closer to hope. I hope for dreams to come true; as I hope for the direction and comfort of a great life. A life not so complicated. The next time you look up at the sky remember to make room for hope and the long wait for tomorrow.
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien
Hello Wild Ones,
With each wrinkle that appears on my 30 something face, I have accepted the fact that I am growing older. Throughout the years I came to realize that one must chose a path(s) in life that will lead us towards happiness. Somewhere along the way we do get lost and wander before ever really finding ourselves. What is it exactly that we are searching for, longing for, even waiting for? The answer lies within you. It is in the power of your mind.
You can easily change your perception of life with just one switch in your brain. As bizarre as that sounds, it is true. It is a practice I have been using for years. I have come to find that something as simple as switching my thoughts to a positive instead of a negative really does make all the difference to being able to live a happy and fulfilling life. No matter how tough life gets, it is a journey we must embark on our own. Each time I am on the trails, during the morning especially, is when I can see a bit of beauty that life has given me. I could not ask for anything more. I was given just one life and so have you. We have to wander through and find ourselves along the way. What path will you choose? Will you take chances, live wildly? All I will say is this, don’t ever regret anything that you do in life.
It was around 10:00 a.m on a July morning and my friend Joseph and I strapped our packs to our backs and started the trail hike early. It was the summer of 2014 and in deep south Texas our summers are scorching. It was quite bright that day especially by the time noon came around. Our goal was to hike the entire park, all of Falcon State Park. It was impossible I know. The Falcon International Resevoir is divided down the middle by the U.S./Mexico Border and is about a 154 mile stretch. I wanted to hike the scenic route that goes all along the lake and off trail from the cabins. It is filled with rich Texas Ebony and Mexican Olive. The sun was penetrating and the wind was hardly blowing. I nearly killed myself on that hike. My partner was more capable of handling the sun that day, whereas I was susceptible to the harsh summer sun. Ofcourse, at the time I didn’t know that. I was chugging water almost every half mile or so. Towards the end of the hike I started feeling nauseous and threw up a couple of times. I think I might have suffered from heat exhaustion or possibly an acute heat stroke. I felt terrible. I suppose it wasn’t the right choice to hike on a summer day like that. Yet, that is exactly the reason I live; to wander the trails and get lost in nature. As horrible as an experience that was, it happened because I made a bad choice. Which is something that we all do when trying to find our way through life. We make wrong decisions and that is how life is when trying to find our way. To me, city life is always the same yet when I go out into the wilderness (the little that thrives in south Texas) I feel that I am right where I am suppose to be. It is a moment I cherish. It is a sublime feeling. I get lost within myself. You can hear all the wild without listening. You can see all the surroundings without watching. It is freedom. Sometimes taking the path you want in life whether you know which way you are going or not will lead you back to where you belong. The power lies in your mind, remember that. Change your perception and you change your world. Wander and get lost as long as you need to just don’t forget to write home to your mother.
“Never let your mind tell your heart not to wander.” ~Unknown
August Heatwave/Drought 2019 South Texas Rio Grande Valley
Hello Wild Ones,
Just as we entered August I felt a glimmer of hope when the Valley received a small cool front early in the month. I gazed at the stars outside while feeling the fresh wind across my face that night. It was hope that the Fall season was finally near. As much as I enjoyed the summer break and low traffic on the streets, I couldn’t help but wonder where all the rain had gone to. Had she disappeared and long gone for a vacation? Maybe settling into the deep brushy hills of the countryside. In a place where no one will find her. Wherever she is, the depletion of rain in south Texas really needs her. Even a small storm for the farmers would be enough to get some relief in their acre long crops. I realized we have been in a long drought for awhile. I got the courage to go out in this summer heat and decided to head to a nearby memorial park. I figured I would have great lighting because of the ongoing heatwave in August. I went there to record some video as well as capture some images. Josefa Garcia Park, is an area dedicated to a 1989 bus crash that killed 21 students. As tragic as it was the site has now been memorialized in their memory. It is a breathtaking park. I arrived around 7:10 p.m. I had plans to meet with my childhood friend at 7:00 p.m. to take photos with him, but quickly realized I had forgotten my memory card and had to head back home to retrieve it, thus getting there at 7:10 p.m. Luckily, it is a nearby drive and didn’t take me long to get the memory card for my camera. I finally arrived at the park and waited…and waited…and waited. Turns out my friend stood me up! It was now 7:30 p.m. and I decided to venture off on my own to see what I could capture. I stood in long pauses gazing over the deep ditch where the bus had landed over 30 years ago. It was a haunting feeling, to think that people lost their souls here. I did a quick prayer and moved along to the higher grounds of the park to get a better view overhead. The heat beat down on my back and I quickly started sweating with each step. I wanted to get a shot of dusk and it’s light against the many mesquite trees. All around me cactus flowers were blooming. They shined a bright and beautiful yellow. I finally found some relief when the sun started to set and felt the heatwave die off and sizzle away. As I waited for dusk to approach which was any minute now I found a hidden patch of cactus. They were gushing with plump prickly pears. They were a crisp burgundy color, juicy, and ripe. I was more at ease as the sun started to slowly go down across the horizon. I drifted along a path alone thinking of how beautiful it feels to be alone with nature and to embrace the colors of the sky when the sun changes them. It was just my camera and me. All my thoughts to myself. I felt so lucky. I shot a picture of a firm August mesquite tree standing tall before me. It was strong, just like me I thought. I snapped a shot of the sun shining through between the branches. “This drought has been brutal.” I thought to myself. I took one last breath and quietly took it all in my heart with rapture. I walked over to my vehicle and got in to leave. I drove off and took a left turn out of the park. The heatwave may have taken my will that day as I drank full gulps of fresh water from my waterbottle but I felt it in my soul that I might have taken a little piece of heaven home with me that day.
The Adventures of A Fox in the Wild 